Exploring our Shadow Self with Caroline Myss
===
Hi, it's Carolyn Myss. And I'm gonna talk to you about your shadow and in particular shadow attacks and what that means, how to spot a shadow attack and how the shadow operates in life.
I'm gonna first describe what is the shadow. The shadow has many definitions. I think the best one, one of the most effective ones is to think of the shadow as the parts of yourself that you don't know much about that circumstances in life activate so that you can find out a lot about.
And so the shadow is neither good, nor bad nor it's neutral, but if you don't investigate shadow, then shadow will cause trouble. And it is capable of profoundly painful activity in your life.
So the shadow part of us can participate in a very destructive behavior and it is very definitely at times conscious.
So to say our shadow self does something as if to say we're not conscious of our shadow is not true at all.
You know, for example, when you are feeling jealous, what you don't know is how jealous you are capable of being and that when pushed to ultimate jealousy, what that unknown part is capable of doing.
So that's where the shadow lives. It's in the unknown part of parts of yourself. You do know all of us know what we're capable of doing when we're angry. And yet there's a part of us that knows I won't let myself get that angry because past that point, I'm not sure what I'll do. That's why aren't you sure.
Because I just don't know if I can control myself. That's where your shadow is. It's in that part of yourself that you are not quite sure you can control. And if I said, why not? Because I don't know myself. I, I don't know what my trigger mechanisms are back there in that part of myself, that's your shadow.
And everybody has that part of ourselves, has its hands on mechanisms in us. It has triggers and we don't always know what those triggers are, but they get triggered and those triggers include certain people in our lives. Certain relationships can trigger our shadow, just like we can for others, we trigger their shadow.
We trigger the darkest part, there's something about us that brings out in them, their shadow. There's certain things in our life that trigger the worst of us, just like some things activate the best of us and it's in our best interest to pursue the shadow to do what we can to excavate it. And it's also, without a doubt, the most challenging thing we can do it is the most difficult.
The most arduous that part of our life is to pursue the shadow and, and in every, I believe deeply that if someone gave me. said define the, the, the spiritual life with you only get one definition. One way. I would say it's the sacred path of the shadow and that's it. It's the sacred path because you need every ounce of the sacred to pursue the shadow in you.
It is the pursuit of, of the darkest part of you with the lightest strength. and this is this, the sacred path of the shadow. What's a shadow attack for me. I, myself had to grow into that actual awareness because after a workshop, people would want to hug me. I I F and after I'd come back from a workshop, I always felt absolutely horrible.
And not only did I feel horrible, I would be, I wouldn't say I wasn't shaking physically, but I recognized that I was actually kind of in a state where I couldn't sit still. I was. His vibrationally hysterical. That's the only way I could put it. What I first knew was that I feel like I'm crazy. I feel like not insane.
I feel like I, I don't know what this is, but I'm just so angry. So it had expressed itself as a anger beyond personal. And if some close friend had said, if Andrew had asked me, what are you so angry about darling? I would say Andrew, I don't know. I don't know. I, I don't know it be because there's nothing in my personal level.
It's an impersonal vibrational anger. Eventually what I recognized is that I could not be touched. by anybody during my, uh, at a workshop I could not be because they approached me with a psychic agenda. They all wanted to speak to me. They all wanted to have a reading. and I could not accommodate any of that.
I mean, there's 2000 of them and there's one of me, but in their embracing, they were thinking that, and somehow in a way that we don't know yet, we don't understand, but it trans transitioned into my energy field. Some form of the psychic free radicals came into my energy system and I carried. and I would feel myself with every hug getting more and more hostile and how I expressed it and how I manifested was hostility.
And so in this way, and this is something that may sound paradoxical to you. My shadow protected me until I understood why I was getting this. because it was unconscious because I didn't understand until it came out into the light until I understood it, my shadow had to do it for me. And so I attacked and I would get suddenly I would go from.
One temperament to the net, just like as if I was a car going at full speed that instantly ran outta steam and I became toxic and became don't touch me. Just, I gotta get outta here. I've gotta get outta here. I mean, right now, right now I've gotta get out. And when I finally understood it, came into the light and I finally understood that part of me.
I changed the rules. And I said, please, I don't wanna be touched. This is just a thing that I have to respect in myself as much as I'd love to hug you. I can't please don't come near me that way. Now I deal with it in the light. I can talk with light words. I can do it with love. Why do we need the shadow?
There you go. We have to otherwise the shadow attack happens. This is a mild version. There's our shadow has darker and darker aspects to it. Of course. Why, why do people abuse other people?